Rangers Moneyline - Lock it up!

Just talked to an inside source, who will remain nameless, and was out boozing with "I don't know? #6 and #16" of the Atlanta Thrashers last night until 6am. She swears nothing happened after 6am, but the only woman I trust is my mama. 2 of the top 6 defenseman? Out until 6am? I'll take the better team at home -- lock it up. Oh and maybe take the moneyline while you're at it.

I know what you're gonna say, David Wells through a perfect game while hungover... well hockey isn't baseball, and 6am in NYC is a lot different than 2am in Florida. And knowing this girl and her friends, well I'm sure these gentlemen were getting after it pretty hard trying to impress.

Guess I can't say girls are only good for one thing after all....

The other end of the spectrum

Ouch. I haven't lost 200 units in a single day in quite some time. No reason to sulk after a killer week so when you fall off that horse what do you do? You get back on that fucking horse.

Football NCAA - 106 South Florida Bulls +9½ for Game Football NCAA - 106 West Virginia Mountaineers / South Florida Bulls Under 53 for Game

South Florida is playing for their season. I'm not saying they are going to win otherwise I would have hopped on the ML at +140, but they shouldn't lose by 10. These teams have historically played each other very close right around the 20 point range. I think I'll stick with that trend. West Virginia is ranked and still hasn't beaten a notable team. I say they take this one in similar fashion to how UNC too a shat on my chest last night.

West Virginia 24 USF 21

Not Right Now Chief - I'm in the fuckin zone

I had lofty expectations for my bus ride up to NYC to visit Captain Donk.  I was hoping to analyze some spreads, make some predictions and write a nice blog entry, but then last night happened.  Three jumbo margaritas later I was well on my way... the poor 2010 Georgetown girl hardly stood a chance.  The point of this is not to brag about my conquest, but to realize that it's important to know when you're in the fucking zone.  I threw a 20 spot from my bodog account onto the blackjack table and proceeded to do work.

Here I am 3 hours later up roughly $750 and counting... this is how movies get made and stars are born.  I don't know what the weekend holds but I do know that I am going to dominate it.  A one-man wolfpack... hopefully I'll get a nice post up later, just not right now chief, cause I'm in the fucking zone.

The "If-Bet"

Spurs looked VERY good last night, as predicted right here. Everyone is running with the Yankees tonight. You know what that means. And then a little juice bet on the VTech game. If it happens, it happens. And then we get to really up the ante this weekend to the point where I'll be getting calls from these off-shore books with consulting and island offers.


Oct 29 08:05 PM EST - Basketball NBA - 501 San Antonio Spurs -3½ -110 for Game
55.00 units to win 50.00 units
Oct 29 07:55 PM EST - Baseball MLB - 953 Philadelphia Phillies +175 for Game - Pitcher Options: Action 50.00 units to win 87.50 units
Oct 29 07:45 PM EST - Football NCAA - 104 Virginia Tech Hokies -15½ -110 for Game
110.00 units to win 100.00 units
If Win Only
55.00 units to win 237.50 units

Enter the Sandman

The true definition of "No Chance." There is absolutely no chance that UNC doesn't roll into Blacksburg tonight and get run the fuck out of Lane Stadium. There is no chance that UNC wins their first road game against a top 25 team since 2001. There is no chance they score more than 14 points. If you have never been to Lane Stadium, tell me this doesn't give you chills down your back. And that is with all the Army ROTC guys on the field instead of in the south end zone stands. The visiting team walks through a cinder block tunnel no wider than 10 feet and you honestly feel like the stadium could come crashing down on you. It is literally shaking because of the crowd noise. Penn State? Please. Clemson? With balloons? Get out of here. Florida? Give me a break. Virginia Tech is hands down the most intimidating/best entrance in college football. And just wait until the Highty Tighties get into the stands.



UNC's defense definitely keeps this one from being a total embarrassment, but I can't see them managing more than 10-14 points tonight. Tech rolls, 31-10. Unfortunately, you cannot tease this game for a guaranteed payout (VT and Over) because the spread, 15 1/2, is more than 1/3 of the O/U at 44. This wasn't the case online about 4 years ago when I was in college, but Vegas caught on real fast. Vtech also owes me a game after blowing it against Gtech last week which spoiled my 6 team Kappa Kappa Gamma tease of the week.

Oct 29 07:45 PM EST - Football NCAA - 104 Virginia Tech Hokies -15½ -110 for Game
165.00 units to win 150.00 units

- Cpt. Donk

Hut, Hut! Some quick hits from DonkeyBets

The Phillies are now EVEN money to win the World Series after dominating Game 1. EVEN money? Every now and then when the preseason favorite (Yankees, Penguins, Patriots..) gets to the World Series, Stanley Cup, Super Bowl Vegas actually loses a lot more money than you think. And most of it is on Futures bets. A high percentage of people that have been to Vegas since last October, especially those from NYC, place a small $20-$100 on the Yankees to win the World Series getting 2-1 odds. Those bets add up to the point where Vegas now has to offer incredible odds to get people to bet on Philadelphia. In the business world that I used to be a part of, that is called "hedging" your bets. Well, I'm in.

Oct 29 07:55 PM EST - Baseball Series - 981 Philadelphia Phillies -105 for Game
55.00 units to win 52.38 units
1 Straight(s)

Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth repeatedly in the mid-late 90's. That classic long hair of his, was a toupee. I don't usually read books, and I won't read this one, but I thought about it.

The girl that Steve Phillips had an affair with is disgusting. The real kicker that really hasn't gotten the same publicity is that Phillips checked himself into a rehab center after being fired from ESPN. Really? They have rehab centers for guys who have consensual sex with slampigs? I think I know enough donkeys to fill an entire floor.

After making more than 110 million dollars during his NBA career, Antoine Walker is in the hole to JPMorgan, Wachovia, and some Vegas casinos for 4.5 million. DonkeyBets is not surprised one bit. NBA players are the worst money managers in the entire country. Well, besides Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch... 60% of players that are 5 years out of the league are broke. Fact! That is unfathomable. Let me just say that it starts with the donkettes. Don't let them convince you fellas, they are always after that money. That's why El Donk always brings a fly swatter to the bar to beat those skanks away. DonkeyBets has a good friend in the money management business who represents many athletes. One of their client honestly makes 1.5 million dollars a year and he has 50K in the bank. No lie. Some current players discussed by the executive board here at DonkeyBets that we believe will also be broke (not just NBA, and why can't Vegas offer a futures line on these guys?):

Travis Henry - "The New Shawn Kemp"
Pacman Jones
Muhsin Mohammed
Clinton Portis
Stephon Marbury
Kenyon Martin
Ron Artest
Vince Young
Chad OchoCinco
Vince Carter
Tyson Chandler

and those are just big names, not the 11th and 12th man on the NBA bench. The Donkeys sleeper pick for later years: Charles Barkley. Let's just say there aren't too many NHL players that go broke after playing in the league and they make considerably less.

The Spurs and Magic are definitely going deep into playoffs. The Cavs aren't because of Shaq

After his homophobic comments, I will definitely win my prop bet that Jonathan Stewart will have more fantasy football points than Larry Johnson.

The NCAA is truly racist. Look no further than the Dez Bryant situation. Go get that money Dez, but make sure you manage it well.

The likelihood of both the "Wanda Sykes Show" and "Lopez Late Night" working out for a second season is very small. There are only so many Mexicans and angry black women in LA that give those shows ratings. Fair warning, don't throw one of those two in your TV parlay.

We are going to make "Quick Hits" a weekly column here at DonkeyBets, so don't worry.

NBA Regular Season

The NBA regular season is a cake walk. Half of the teams in the league make the playoffs, and a quarter of the teams are awful and really have no shot at making the playoffs. Just on that premise alone, you're looking at about 20%-25% of the league that the regular season should matter to because they are really "fighting" for a playoff spot. I know this is totally off the wall, and I'm going to try and tiptoe around an issue that is the ginormous fucking elephant in the room, but if this was a performance incentive league, basketball would be king. The big time players have award incentives in their contracts and the small time players have roster bonuses, but I'm talking about wins, points, assists, taking charges, O and D rebounds, etc... You would obviously have to do something with making assists and charges more than points because there are enough ball hogs. Basketball is slowly taking over as the country's most marketable sport. Football is king, baseball is declining, hockey is making an okay attempt and revitalizing it's fan base, but basketball has "it." It attracts the youth of the country. There are 20 guys in the league that are "celebrities." There are maybe 3-5 in baseball. Possibly 2 in hockey that are known by name and not by face. Basketball is marketable. And yet, the regular season is a walk-through. I will expand on this later.

All that being said, this will be my only NBA wager of the year if it loses. If I lose, I'm $20 in the hole on betting the NBA for the year and I won't get mad at the elephant.

Basketball NBA - 714 Oklahoma City Thunder -6½ -110 for Game Basketball NBA - 715 New Orleans Hornets +9½ -110 for Game Basketball NBA - 723 Phoenix Suns -3½ -110 for Game Basketball NBA - 702 Orlando Magic -600 for Game
20 units to win 143.33 units

The Thunder is the gazelle in the jungle that hasn't been approached by the "elephant" and told about the regular season yet. Young, energetic, and one of the 7 teams that actually has a meaningful regular season. Sacramento does not. You can put their ping pong ball in the bingo sphere now. I will lay the points at home.

San Antonio is good. Actually, they are great. But when have you seen them push hard in the regular season before March? New Orleans is no push over and they won't lose on opening night by 10 points.

The Clippers have to play back to back nights to open the season. Ouch. At least it will be in the same arena, unlike the Celts. Still, I was pumped up to see Blake Griffin last night and then get the news he's out for the first month. Sounds like Shaun Livingston all over again. Phoenix has to be fresh.

Orlando is not losing to Philly on opening night. They'll have a nice little ceremony before the game and then really lay it to the 76ers. Orlando is going off at 12-1 to win the championship this year. I'm just saying, if you are looking for value, I would lay 100 units on them and San Antonio at 4.5-1.

One and done for me and the NBA.

Tuesday Night Tease

This game goes against a couple of rules, ehhhh, guidelines that I like to abide by for college football. Home dog, night game, national audience, the red flags are there. Unfortunately, Memphis is not good. I hate betting the spread with America (91% on ECU), so I'm going to have to tease East Carolina and the UNDER. Of the 14 games these two teams have played, 4 games went to 55 points. I'm thinking ECU 28 Memphis 17. Besides, I'm on fire right now. Ride the wave with me!!!

Oct 27 08:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 101 East Carolina Pirates -1 for Game
Oct 27 08:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 102 East Carolina Pirates / Memphis Tigers Under 54½ for Game
Football 6 pt Teaser
110.00 units to win 100.00 units

I will post later on why you will almost never see me place a wager on a regular season NBA game.

Some help from Donkey-D

I had a conversation with Donkey-D, a DonkeyBets favorite, at halftime. We both agreed that both offenses are atrocious and the 2nd half could very well go scoreless and decided to jump on the UNDER at 17 1/2.

Football NFL - 438 Philadelphia Eagles / Washington Redskins Under 17½ -105 for 2nd Half
105 units to win 100 units

Awful 2nd half. Bummed out Washington was finally able to score. Teaser pushed. Donkey-D helped win the 1oo, but we'll take it.

- Cpt. Donk

RED FLAG!!!

I told you all week. I told you in not so many words, "Get yo fucking popcorn ready!" And what happened? A clean sweep for yours truly yesterday. Favorites were an astonishing 9-2-1. You know which two underdogs covered? My beloved Buffalo Bills and the Arizona Cardinals. I bet on both. The Cards bet came last night during a conversation I had with El Donk, when books were offering a halftime line of Zona +3 on the 2nd half for even money. Too easy. If you stuck with me all weekend like I had been telling you to all week, you cashed in for 450 units. If you stuck with me for all of last week, then you're up a smooth 780 units and change. So you might want to start paying attention. On to Monday Night Football where there are so many red flags.

#1.) The guy calling the plays for Washington this week was calling out bingo numbers at a senior citizens center in Michigan 2 weeks ago. It get better. He will be calling plays from up in the booth, relaying them to the offensive coordinator on the sideline, who will then relay them to Jason Campbell on the field. Really? Jason Campbell has already said he is going to have a couple plays in mind to call if he doesn't get one from upstairs in time. Jason Campbell calling plays on his own scares me more than the bingo guy.

#2.) Philly got beat up last week, by Oakland. McNabb's best games, historically, have always come the week after a horrible game. I thought McNabb didn't even play all that bad last week, but hi O-line certainly did. No I don't have statistics to support that last sentence, the only statistic you should be worried about is 780 units. BOOM!

#3.) Practically a home game for Philly. The always travel well to New York and Washington for these divisional games.

#4.) Favorites were 9-2-1 this week.

#5.) 84% of all spread bets are on the the Eagles. If you got them at -5 when it opened, i say you're good. If you are thinking about jumping on at -9... ehhhhhh. 86% of all bets are on the OVER.

Monday Night gets more action then any other game of the week. Something is telling me Vegas and Clinton Portis take the wind out of America's sail tonight. The Redskins are so bad that when i selected the tease up to +15 I just didn't feel more confident then bringing Philly down to -3. Philly wins a really ugly game tonight, but don't expect the "edge of your seat" excitement a regular close game brings. Philly takes it 21-13. And the more I look at that score the more realistic it looks. Washington's defense is not that bad. Tease the Eagles and the UNDER.

Oct 26 08:35 PM EST - Football NFL - 437 Philadelphia Eagles -3 for Game
Oct 26 08:35 PM EST - Football NFL - 438 Philadelphia Eagles / Washington Redskins Under 44 for Game
Football 6 pt Teaser
110.00 units to win 100.00 units

Week of the Tease

Instead of your weekly tease this week should simply be dubbed the week of the tease.  As Captain Donk and I go for the kill shot I can't help but look at all the lines and see so many teases I want to jump all over.  Being brief, here are the lines I love:

Chargers (PICK) - Teasing the charges to a straight pick'em against the Chiefs is a no brainer, I don't care about the short week or home field advantage.

J-E-T-S (-1) - Only giving 1 pt to Jamarcus Russell?  Yes please, can't sign me up fast enough.

Carolina (-1) - Only giving 1 pt to the Bills?  Yes please, can't sign me up fast enough.

Saints (-1) - Dolphins play tough at home... just not tough enough to beat the Saints.

Eagles (-1.5) - I'll hold off to Monday for this one... but coming off a loss to the Raiders there is no chance the skins take this game.

Let it Ride

After all the action yesterday, I made 15 units. You know what I call that? Riding the winning streak! I will be brief in my comments simply because my head is still ringing from the pounding music at Heorot last night. Observation/Question of the night - Do you think everyone rocks out to that "Party in the USA" song at colleges across the country? Or just schools like Dartmouth? Something is telling me its just Dartmouth.

Football NFL - 415 Indianapolis Colts -10 for Game Football NFL - 419 Green Bay Packers -4 for Game
110 units to win 100 units

I think I'm on board with everyone in the country with this tease. The only reason the Pats aren't in it is because the NFL continues to try and market to Europe by playing a game in England every year. Get over yourself. They like their version of "futbol" a lot more than our version and I have absolutely no problem with that. To those of you taking the Pats, you don't just get both teams on a 6 hour flight and expect big things.

Football NFL - 434 Dallas Cowboys -4½ -110 for Game Football NFL - 418 Cincinnati Bengals +1 -110 for Game Football NFL - 429 Buffalo Bills +7½ buying ½ points -130 for Game

Riding the "If-Bet" wave here. This will be the week where i either write off the Cowboys for the rest of the season or they bring me along for another week or so before inevitably donkey punching me when I load up on them to cover against Washington at home. For now, I'll bet against America and the Falcons. 110 units to win 100 units.

Cincy-Chicago is pretty much a pick'em game. Gotta go with the home team and the opportunity to once again, bet against America. 110 units to win 100 units

I think my Bills have roped me in. Carolina shouldn't be laying 7 points to the Montreal Allouettes. I will buy an extra half point to cover the 20-13 pukefest in Charlotte today. 110 units to win 100 units.

Friday Night Lights

The logic here is simple

-Night game

-Home dog, we must protect this house

-America is loading up on Rutgers

The play: ARMY +11, 25 units to win 22 units

An ugly day in the northeast for football, let's make that money.

Everybody better have their deposits in and their game faces on. As promised, Captain Donk, not the Boss, will lead you to the promise land this weekend. We're riding a hot 4 game winning streak with 3 underdogs winning outright. I'll be up in Hanover for Dartmouth homecoming and watching the Buffalo Bills game at my great Aunt's house. Yup, Aunt Nancy pays for NFL Sunday Ticket on DirecTV, how cool is your 80 year old great aunt?


We're mixing up the order a little bit this week. Leading off, we have our Kappa Kappa Gamma Tease of the Week!

Georgia Tech (-1/2) @ Virginia - In the words of the SAM House brothers, "no chance." UVA is so bad. They are in first place right now in the Atlantic Division of the ACC and they have beaten nobody. Gtech hasn't won in Charlottesville since 1990, that ends in a big way this weekend.

Tenn @ Alabama ( -8 1/2) - Somehow, everyone was sipping the Patrick Crompton juice after only one legitimate week. His little fairy tale comes back to Earth this week when they put up 13 points against a stout Bama defense.

Oregon @ Washington (+16 1/2) - 16 points at home with Jake Locker. I don't necessarily have a big board, but if i did, Locker would be off the board if he can't win this game outright.

Notre Dame @ Michigan (+10 1/2) - Two horrible teams and one of them getting three scores with the tease? I have no respect for State. They have played on legit team, Iowa, and they lost to them at home. I'll easily take 10 points in the big house.

Florida @ Miss St. (+28 1/2) - Underdog lock of the week to cover. The old Florida offensive coordinator is now Miss State's head coach and you can really see Florida's offense struggling. If Miss State gets 10 points, put it on the board.

Uconn @ West Virginia (-1 1/2) - Tough one to put it here. West Virginia takes this game easily before the tragic stabbing of Uconn's CB. In the words of the famous Mike McD, check emotion at the door.

Football NCAA - 313 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets -½ for Game Football NCAA - 348 Alabama Crimson Tide -8½ for Game Football NCAA - 350 Washington Huskies +16 for Game Football NCAA - 354 Michigan Wolverines +10½ for Game Football NCAA - 388 Mississippi State Bulldogs +28½ for Game Football NCAA - 328 West Virginia Mountaineers -1½ for Game

50 units to win 350 units

Once this tease hits Vegas right in the man region, why don't you take a nice little lady friend out to dinner courtesy of the Donks.

Doing a little something different this week. We're running 2 If-Bets for 100 units a piece. First one, I can't tell you how much I love Gtech at UVA this weekend. Iowa is still getting no respect as an underdog at Mich St this week. And then we have the two teams most near and dear to my heart, Dartmouth and Northeastern. Those games will be played in ugly weather and neither team can run the ball. I like our chance this week.

Football NCAA - 313 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets -6½ -110 for Game Football NCAA - 383 Iowa Hawkeyes +1 -110 for Game
100 units to win 180 units

Football College 1AA - 1483 Towson Tigers -2½ -120 for Game Football College 1AA - 1503 Columbia Lions -11 -120 for Game 120 units to win 200 units

Jimbo Fisher can go jump in a lake!

FSU is off to its worst start under Bobby Bowden. The man has stayed as the face of Seminole football even though he hasn't called a play in a handful of years. People are calling for Bowden's removal now as he tries to outlive JoePa. If they want to get to a bowl game, somewhere Bowden has been for the last 36 straight years, then they better get rolling. This will be the first ever Thursday night game in Chapel Hill. UNC has the best defense in the country and the worst offense. FSU has the worst defense and the best offense. In the pros, this is a no-brainer, you go with the better defense. College? Different story.

I think UNC looks bad. They looked bad at UCONN and GTech and anyone who can only put up 3 points against UVA doesn't get my money behind them for the entire year.

Football NCAA - 303 Florida State Seminoles +115 for Game
50 units to win 57.50 units


The Angels get paid too. They are professionals. Way too many people like the Yankees to close it out tonight, in Anaheim, against their ace Lackey. This smells like a Vegas win before we gear up for the World Series.

Baseball MLB - 906 Los Angeles Angels -105 for Game
50 units to win 47.62 units

You have to be rolling with me into the weekend after I gave you donkeys a 9 point underdog moneyline bet with the UNDER last night. Like I said, we are going to fucking crush it this weekend.

- Captain Donk

Hockey Night in America?

Thursday has traditionally been known as "Hockey Night in Canada" and it still bewilders me why Wednesday night was never pegged "Hockey Night in America." Probably because we have horrible fan bases in Phoenix, Dallas, Carolina, and 2 in Florida, and a commissioner that can't market the game, but I digress.

After a crushing ass whooping at the hand of the Yankees, and Tim McClellan, I'm feeling the Anaheim fan base quickly switch over to the Ducks tonight. El Donk approves that the line at -145 isn't too steep so throw them in your parlay.

Riding the end of the Avs incredible 7 game road trip is also in my parlay. Colorado is going off at +110 at Minnesota even though both teams haven't played since Saturday. I could not find anything online to confirm this, but my guess is that the Avs even went back home between last Saturday and tonights game. Either way, they should be well rested.

Ice Hockey NHL - 7 Colorado Avalanche +110 for Game Ice Hockey NHL - 12 Anaheim Ducks -145 for Game

20 units to win 50.56 units

And then we have our Wednesday Night Special. Similar to my Kappa Kappa Gamma Teaser last Saturday where Virginia Tech was my only loser, 3 weeks ago Houston was my only loser when they shat the bed against UTEP. So the way I see it, UTEP owes me. Night game, home dog, and against America? This game is very close to the S. Florida - Cincy game last Thursday. I won't load up as much, but the reward is still great. UTEP to take it straight up and UNDER 60.

Football NCAA - 302 UTEP Miners +320 for Game Football NCAA - 302 Tulsa Golden Hurricanes / UTEP Miners Under 60 -110 for Game

20 units to win 140.56 units

FYI: We're fucking crushing this weekend, so get those deposit bonuses in.

- Captain Donk

Tuesday Night Trifecta

First off lets talk some basic NHL strategy that hasn't been touched on.  More than any other sport, an NHL tilt can swing either way on any given night.  This unpredictability makes it dangerous to load up on any one team in a given night.  It also makes the juice something to pay attention to -- you'll be hard pressed to find me betting on ANYONE at -200 or worse, even if the Penguins are playing their AHL affiliate.  Your best bet here is to diversify with a series of smaller wagers.

Equally important is who is in net -- I like to use www.dailyfaceoff.com as my source for who is between the pipes.  Then you gotta factor days rest, momentum (huge in hockey) and home ice.  Home ice is difficult in hockey cause some teams have a huge advantage and others don't -- off the top of my head the Calgary, Edmonton, Montreal, DC, Buffalo, Detroit and Carolina jump to mind.

Anyways, without further ado here is the Tuesday's trifecta of NHL picks:

--Pitt -175: Steep price to pay but they are fresh, at home, and talented.

--Atlanta EVEN: I know I know, I mentioned Montreal can be a tough place to play... but that goes for the home team too, who got booed off the ice recently.  The Habs are struggling and the Thrashers are cruising right now with a red hot power play.  I gotta ride the hot hand with the even money as the Canadians are turning to Jaroslav Halak tonight who has been unimpressive at best.

--Calgary -145: Columbus took the first game of this series at home and I look for Calgary to get even on their own ice.  Calgary has passionate fans is one of the most difficult places to play and has lost only once at home this year.  I'll take the Flames coming off 3 days rest.

Recap

Well folks, we've been waiting for it all year.  Vegas office gave America a donkey punch today.  Everything was going too good to be true the first few weeks, with all the donks in America cashing in.  Well covers by the Browns and Rams and outright wins by the Raiders and Bills gave america  swift kick in the groin and dose of reality.  Factor the Giants getting absolutely shelled by the Saints and teasers and parlays were getting crushed left and right.

It was a long time coming so hopefully you steered clear, and if not, let this be a lesson.  Vegas will get you in the end.  My fate is in the hands of Cutler and the Bears, and I'm still feeling the over play of 40 despite the slow start.

Reflecting on my first blogging experience ever, I'd say it is a positive one.  I highly recommend blogging as a creative outlet and great way to kill time at work... its 50/50 whether I can get fired for researching betting trends.  While I recommend blogging to all, I highly recommend choosing a different topic besides sports and spreads... well sports spreads at least, might be fun to blog about other spreads, but I digress.  In the past 2 weeks I have bet on shit that I know nothing about, lines I have barely studied, and Tuesday night NHL games.  I've bet using wisdom, bet on instinct, and bet while browned out after the bars.  While you can blame this on being a degenerate, I blame it on the blog.  I plan on heading up to NYC to visit captain donk in a couple weeks and I can only imagine what the aftermath of that will be.

From my count we've received roughly 50 views, so DiSalvo and Ronway, keep clicking refresh and feel free to provide us with any feedback or a guest column maybe.

-El Donk

Sunday Funday Nightcap

I liked the Falcons at -3, but with the line shifting to -4.5 by the time my hockey game was over, I decided a little Sunday Funday teaser would be a nice night cap.  Both solid offenses with unproven defenses, teasing it to OVER 40 seems like the most logical move, so it's really whether I like the Falcons getting 1.5 or the Bears getting 10.5.  I'm gonna roll with Cutler and hope for a close one.

55 units to win 50 units.

Stay tuned for a Sunday recap...

Tease of the Week

Ladies and gentlemen it's time for the tease of the week, brought to you by whoever this chick is ======>>

"I see she's wearing them jeans that show her butt crack.  My girls can't wear that.  Why?  Cause that's where my stash at."

Thanks Lil Wayne.  This look is without a doubt one of my favorite on any girls out on the town up on the stage and it doesn't get nearly enough credit. So this week's tease of the week is brought to you by jeans that show the butt crack.  Here are a few of the lines I'm tempted to tease.

Giants +9.  The Gmen front 4 should be able to bring the pressure without bringing the blitz, leaving enough help in the secondary.  I expect a heavy dose of Brandon Jacobs early and often, and wouldn't be suprised to see the Giants win outright, so I'll definitely take 9 points.

Pats -3.5.  The countdown to Vince Young has begun... expect our favorite basket case QB to take over for the then winless Titans after their bye week in 2 weeks.

Chiefs +12.  The weather is sloppy and these 2 teams are bad.  The Redskins can barely score 12 points.

Browns +20.  No real insight except that 20 points is a lot for a divisional battle.

Jaguars -4.  Forget my donkey parlay, the Rams are b.a.d.

No fellas, once you pull in the cash with these bets, go out and buy your ladies some of those jeans... lets make this look mainstream!

NFL Donkey Bet of the Week

Well folks it's time for this week's NFL donkey bet of the week.  Since the Pats aren't on till 4 I'll have time to load up on any afternoon games later today so I'll stick to the 1pm games.  For a donkey bet I like to have high reward... so I'm throwing these 4 money lines into a parlay and letting the magic happen:

--CHIEFS over REDSKINS.  The Chiefs are bad, the Skins are bad, the weather is bad.  This is just a bad football game.  Did you know that the Redskins have played a winless team every week and are still 2-3?

--RAMS over JAGUARS.  The Rams are awful but that's what makes this play so rewarding.  If I remove the rams from this parlay the payout goes from 110:1 to 20:1... so I'll hope I get lucky, the Jags haven't looked so hot themselves this season.

--TEXANS over BENGALS.  Bengals could easily be 1-4... they're not but they are 4 plays away from it.  Of course they could also easily be 5-0.

--GIANTS over SAINTS.  Watch the Giants run game eat up the Saints D.

Bet 10 units to win 1098 units!

The Jugular

I've just about had it with all these backwards trends this year. That's why I'm going for the jugular against Vegas this week. I will explain my reasons behind each game below:


Oct 17 12:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 110 Texas Longhorns +2½ for Game
Oct 17 12:20 PM EST - Football NCAA - 129 Georgia Bulldogs -2½ for Game
Oct 17 03:30 PM EST - Football NCAA - 149 USC Trojans -4 for Game
Oct 17 06:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 159 Virginia Tech Hokies +2½ for Game
Oct 17 09:15 PM EST - Football NCAA - 162 Oklahoma State Cowboys -½ for Game
Oct 17 07:30 PM EST - Football NCAA - 189 Miami Florida Hurricanes -7 for Game
Oct 17 08:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 193 Navy Midshipmen -1 for Game
Football 6 pt Teaser
50.00 units
400.00 units



Texas is winning outright. They really got the long dick of the BCS straight up the pooper last year and Mack Brown is telling those kids in the locker room not to even leave it up to a bunch of suits in a conference room.

Texas 31 OU 24



Notre Dame has played the sneakiest schedule of any team in the country this year. The only semi-athletic team they have played, Michigan, beat them. USC has two starters back on defense to keep Tate in check. This one has the makings of being over by halftime. USC's offense is ready to explode. And oh yea, Pete Carroll has had 2 weeks to prepare.

USC 35 ND 13

Georgia is on the road against Vanderbilt. Historically the worst team in the SEC. Don't worry Commodore fans, Miss State is starting to give you a run for your money. I have to take Georgia by at least a fg with that high powered offense. Going against all logic the final score will be...

Georgia 13 Vandy 10 (OT)

OK State needs to get it going if they want to make a run at a decent bowl game. They bounce back from the whole Dez Bryant situation and take down Mizzou.

OK State 27 Mizzou 24

Miami has to beat Central Florida by more than a touchdown with a 6 point tease.

Miami 31 C. Fla 17

Do you know why they don't run the option in the NFL. Defense's are too good and too fast. The Wildcat is kind of breaking that trend, but the athletes really are that much better. Virginia Tech's defense is to fast, pro style, and G Tech really has trouble moving the ball today. I REALLY like V Tech and i have the "If Bet" going with them and Texas with Texas up first.

V Tech 28 G Tech 14

Take what I just said in the last paragraph and totally flip it with players that are not as athletic. Navy going down to Texas for the 2nd week in a row kind of scares me, but not with the tease.

Navy 38 SMU 21

Besides, you aren't truly a donkey unless you make some donkey bets.

Oct 17 12:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 110 Texas Longhorns -3½ -110 for Game
60.00 units
54.54 units
1 Straight(s)

NHL Update

I've been off my NHL game this week.  Actually, correction, I've been on my game but off the blog.  Unfortunately my day job has kept me in the office past the 7pm games, and what good is a post if you don't put your money where your mouth is?

Last night I would have nailed the Penguins, Blackhawks, Ducks and Stars, and would have lost on the Kings.  4 of 5 ain't bad.  Tonight I liked the Caps @ home (one of the biggest home ice advantages in the US believe it or not), the Wings, Senators and Blackhawks.  I was torn on the Avs/Canadians but probably would err on the home team.  Tonight's tilt I'll take the BLUES getting even money.

I can't promise I'll get back home tomorrow either, but here are my preliminary Friday picks without knowing the lines yet:

--NJD at home over Atlanta

--SABRES at home over the Islandars

--FLYERS on the road against Panthers

--BRUINS on the road against the Stars

--OILERS at home against the Wild

--CALGARY at home against Vancouver

Over and out,

El Donk

No, it's a 4 cylinder, but it's really fast

Great game tonight between Cincy and USF. If Matt Grothe is healthy, South Florida rolls. Fortunately, this game also hits all 4 of my betting criteria for college football:

1.) Bet on the Home Team
2.) Night Game? Home team or nothing.
3.) Take the Home Dog
4.) Bet Against America

81% of all spread bets are taking Cincy tonight. That makes me want to take the 2 points instead of getting the moneyline at +110. 10 units for 2 points is the best deal you're going to get this year. I'll go ahead and make myself look like a genious and say Cincy wins 35-34.

Oct 15 07:45 PM EST - Football NCAA - 106 South Florida Bulls +2 -110 for Game
110.00 units
100.00 units

Some Randoms

Sticking with my "I'm done betting on Buffalo, but I'll still pull for them" method:


Oct 13 07:05 PM EST - Ice Hockey NHL - 53 Detroit Red Wings -130 for Game
50.00 units
38.46 units
1 Straight(s)

ANNNNDDDD I'll take the home team with the undefeated conference record in a track meet in Captain Donk's Midweek Donkey Parlay of the Week:

Football NCAA - 102 UL Monroe Warhawks -2½ -110 for Game Football NCAA - 101 Arkansas State Red Wolves / UL Monroe Warhawks Over 52½ -110 for Game
20.00 units To Win Amount: $52.00 units

Tuesday Night's NHL Lineup

Feel free to fade me, as I am riding a pretty heavy cold streak coming into this post, but here is my take on tonight's NHL lines.

-Colorado @ Toronto.  Colorado is coming off a victory at Boston, while Toronto still is looking for their first W.  The game is at Toronto and that is about all the Leafs have going for them.  Phil Kessel is out, as are both, read it BOTH of their starting goaltenders.  The top Leafs scorer has 3 points on the year... the only question mark is who will be in Colorado's net.

PICK: Colorad0 +105

-Detroit Red Wings @ Buffalo Sabres.  The Wings look back on track after opening the season with 2 losses across the pond.  Losing "The Mule" hurts the Wings offense and the Sabres have been averaging a remarkable 1.3 goals for.   Buffalo has been playing fantastic defense giving up only 1.0 goals per game.  Almost 70% of America likes Detroit to win this... but if you've ever been to a Buffalo game or met anybody from Buffalo, you'll know what a tough place it is to play, I'm fine if you want to pick Buffalo here, BUT....

PICK: Under 5.5 (+105)

-Calgary @ Columbus.  I'll keep this one short, Calgary got absolutely shelled and gave up an embarrassing 5-0 lead in a 6-5 OT loss last night.  This is me saying that they have the leadership in their locker room to make sure things go better tonight.

PICK: Calgary +115 

MNF

After much deliberation, El and Captain have decided that while the under is still a play, we'd rather have the Jets getting 2.5 (3.5 for El Donk) then we would the Dolphins getting 9.5.  I wouldn't be shocked to see this teaser hit no matter which way you played it.  20-13 Jets anyone?

Football NFL - 427 New York Jets +2½ for Game   
Oct 12 08:35 PM EST  -  Football NFL - 428 New York Jets / Miami Dolphins Under 42½ for Game   
Football 6 pt Teaser 110.00 100.00

Back to Reality

It was a rough weekend for El Donk, who felt more like Le Donk. I donked off some of my roll on bets I’d like back (Red Sox), and still can’t believe the Bengals pulled that one off -- the Ravens haven't played with this much lack of discipline in consecutive weeks for a long time. My account took a hit, but luckily I’m still playing with house money. Throw in the sweep of the Sox, Pats loss, and my two #1 seeded fantasy squads getting dealt a loss – well let’s just say that it’s back to reality.

I haven’t decided whether to steer clear of the MNF game yet or get back on the horse. My initial thoughts are to tease the Dolphins to +9 at home, and tease the O/U to under 42.5. I could easily see this game being 19-13. I love the Dolphins getting 9 at home against a rookie QB on Monday Night. I expect a lot of running from both these squads, and both have solid rush D’s. This game hits on all cylinders... underdog getting points at home in a night game, "we must protect this house!" And of course the most important part, according to Logans 90% of the donks of America are taking the over and 91% are taking the Jets to cover. I think I might’ve just talked myself into this game.

Weekend Recap and MNF

Well donkeys, we were a couple a late fourth quarter touchdowns from really crushing it this past weekend. There is a reason they call it a "backdoor cover," and it's because you feel like you got backdoored. William and Mary gave up a touchdown with 1:30 left up 34-7, Iowa gave up a late 4th quarter drive to someone that hadn't taken a snap at QB yet, Wisconsin threw 2 INT's for TD's and gave up a KR TD while dominating in the Horseshoe, and Tampa Bay was , well, Tampa Bay. 3 interceptions, two in the red zone, but I'm actually still not willing to give up on Josh Johnson and the Bucs (for gambling purposes). Beckett finally got roughed up in the 6th inning on Friday, and even though Vancouver squandered a two goal lead in the third, Luongo came up big in the shootout. If you followed me with every bet this weekend, you won $120. I expect much more from myself and so should you. Things we learned this weekend:

1.) I think we can write off Tennessee as a bad team.
2.) The Broncos and Bengals are definitely for real and that week 1 game now doesn't look like a game between two struggling offense, but two great defenses.
3.) Vegas got crushed AGAIN this weekend by the favorites, 7-5, but NYG, PHI, and MIN win everyones teaser (and even parlays) as the big favorites.
4.) Wyoming definitely has one of the better home field advantages in NCAAF that nobody talks about.
5.) When something looks like a donkey, smells like a donkey, and feels like a donkey, it's a donkey bet. Sorry LSU fans.

Here are some games that I should have taken this weekend:

BC @ Virginia Tech (-13 1/2) - Tech really is amazing on defense. They won't lose another game this season. I have to lay two touchdowns in Blacksburg against a mediocre BC team.

Dallas @ Kansas City (+8 1/2) - We found out that Dallas' big problems are on the defensive side of the ball. Everyone was taking Dallas and I shied away because KC's defense is horrible. Getting 8 1/2 points in Arrowhead should have been a gift.

Cleveland (+6) @ Buffalo - Okay, here I go. I'm a Bills fan. The biggest of Bills fans. Somebody once told me that you don't root for the Bills, you pull for them. Spot on. Maybe the 4 straight Superbowls scarred me as a child, or how I can still see Frank Wychek running to the right sideline and thinking to myself, "Holy shit! He's going to throw it," but I don't root for the Bills, I pull for them. Above all others, they are my team. I watch all other sports to be entertained. I watch the NFL to pull for the Bills. Even a game between the Pats and Broncos I think to myself what Buffalo would have to do to beat each team.

Without a doubt, this team the worst team I have pulled for. Filled with talent and heart, but that's it. I'm not leaving the Bills, ever (unless they move to Toronto, then I'll think about it). But I'll tell you who better fucking leave, Dick Jauron. He's now 58-80 as a head coach. How in the world did he win 58 games. "It's a miracle." I won't start with the whole offensive coordinator thing because maybe the Buffalo front office thought it was the trendy thing to do in August, like go to the Hamptons or something.

Dick: You know, Tampa Bay and KC just fired their offensive coordinators. Maybe we should do the same?

Russ: That's a great idea. Schonert just spent a year installing the no-huddle offense, but he can be the fall guy for the past 2 years of non-productivity instead of you and me!

(Clinking their scotch glasses)

Dick: Perfect! I'll have AVP call the plays and then we'll both be saved.

I now hate Dick Jauron. I hate Trent "Captain Checkdown" Edwards. Russ Brandon isn't too far away and T.O. is on the back burner. Let's just say I will be betting against the Bills for the rest of the season.

Phew! I feel better. Now for some games that I probably would have gotten crushed on:

Houston @ Miss St (-2 1/2) - SEC team playing at home against Houston? The sad thing is if Vegas made this game a 7 point spread i probably take Miss St and what I thought was a solid defense. You almost got me Vegas.

Georgia @ Tennessee - I can't remember what the spread was but I definitely would have taken Georgia. How did Patrick Crompton put up 300 yards and 4 td's? I thought Kiffin didn't let m throw the ball?

Angels @ Red Sox - They couldn't even put up a fight? How the mighty have fallen. The entire second half of the season you kind of saw that Papelbon wasn't Papelbon. That's why Epstein went out and got Billy Wagner. That's why they tried to rush the development of Daniel Bard. Between Paps and Nathan, I think Lidge now has some company in the "dominating group of bullpen fireballers that were never the same after a blown playoff save."

A winning weekend is a winning weekend. Check back for our MNF pick later today.

- Captain Donk

Home Sweet Home

You know what I've done the past week? Nothing. I went into the office on Wednesday, hung out for a little bit and was gone by 1. Thursday and Friday? Sleep, self pleasurement, sleep, eat, watch some sports, self pleasurement, sleep. I went for a hike yesterday and watched people hang glide today. Do you know what the Dallas Stars have done? They travelled to Edmonton (which, for our readers, is a city in Alberta, Canada) and lost a heartbreaker 5-4, flew to Calgary and beat the Flames on Friday, and now they are playing at Vancouver. The Canucks (for our readers, is the hockey team in Vancouver and in no way a derogatory word for Canadians) have been sleeping at home all week and playing an occasional game. Now again, I think I'm in pretty good shape. I've done nothing this week and I am absolutely exhausted tonight. The Stars can't be feeling good. Hotel food in Edmonton and Calgary can only be so appetizing.


Oct 11 10:05 PM EST - Ice Hockey NHL - 54 Vancouver Canucks -155 for Game
155.00 units
100.00 units
1 Straight(s)

Sunday Funday!

I'm a little dissapointed with two of my college bets from Saturday, but I'll go over that on Monday during my weekend summation and pick for MNF.

Here at Donkeybets, we try to bet against America as often as possible. Favorites are absolutely killing it this year in the NFL and the books are getting taken. Even the casual gambler has been making money. I can't play that streak. This is the week Vegas, and Captain Donk, take down the Donkeys. Here are my picks:

Minn (-11.5) @ STL - C'mon Vegas! You make this game 14 points I still take Minny, so why wouldn't you. 96% of America is laying the points. You have to roll with the crowd. St. Louis has scored 24 points in 4 games. 24 points? I watched them score 17 against Green Bay. Ouch. Gotta lay the points.

Oct 11 01:00 PM EST - Football NFL - 401 Minnesota Vikings -11½ -110 for Game
55.00 units
50.00 units

Tampa Bay (+15 1/2) @ Philly - The Eagles are definitely due for a stink bomb. Tampa actually showed signs of life last week with rookie Josh Johnson. By the way, how dumb do you think Josh Freeman is? Can I get his Wonderlic results? For him to be drafted in the first round as the future of the franchise at QB, and then your coach goes with some no name 5th rounder when he says they are benching Leftwich, I'm thinking he has to be pretty dumb. However, that opens the door for "Number 1 Josh" to swoop in, take a job, and earn a nice paycheck. Don't mess with a brotha when there's money involved. 75% of America is on this three score spread? +750 to win the game is sooooo enticing.

Oct 11 01:00 PM EST - Football NFL - 407 Tampa Bay Buccaneers +15½ -110 for Game
55.00 units
50.00 units

Cincy (+8 1/2) @ Baltimore - No respect for the Bengals yet. The defense is legit. The O-Line is making Cedric Benson look like (searching for a comparison for a historically underachieving back who finally makes due...) 2003 Ricky Williams. Palmer looks like his knee never got shattered and I think he is furious on the inside that Kimo Van Oehlhoffen crawled right into his knee on the first play of their playoff game with the Steelers back in '05 and now there's the Brady Rule instead of the Palmer rule. Ravens pull it out, but I just think this line is too high.

Oct 11 01:00 PM EST - Football NFL - 413 Cincinnati Bengals +8½ -110 for Game
55.00 units
50.00 units

Atlanta @ San Francisco (-3) - I still haven't met anyone who is as high on the 49ers as I am this year. I see them beating up the Atlanta front 7 and moving the ball with Coffee. The ATL offense hasn't shown me they can move the ball on the ground. Long road trip. I don't see coming off a bye as an advantage when you are playing a team catching its stride. Here's hoping ATL keeps it within 8 so El Donk hits his teaser.
Oct 11 04:05 PM EST - Football NFL - 418 San Francisco 49ers -3 -115 for Game
55.00 units
47.83 units

New England @ Denver (+4) - December weather tomorrow in Denver. Might as well consider it a December game where the team that can run the ball and play solid defense wins. Right now, I think that's Denver. Draw as many McDaniels-Bellichek parallels as you want, the understudy always wants to show his old boss he can do it on his own. If you don't think this game was circled on McDaniels schedule in June, you don't know shit about the NFL.

Oct 11 04:15 PM EST - Football NFL - 420 Denver Broncos +4 Ev for Game
55.00 units
55.00 units

Indy @ Tennessee (+4 1/2) - Okay, this might be the stretch play of the week. I wish the line was 6, where it should be, but oh well. Indy still can't stop the run. Watching that Miami game two weeks ago should tell you all you need to know. Is Peyton still at the helm of the best passing attack in the league? Yes. Is the Tennessee defense now the worst at defending the pass? Yes. Are 91% of all spread bets for this game on Indy to cover, on the road, at night? Ahhhhh, yes.

Oct 11 08:20 PM EST - Football NFL - 426 Tennessee Titans +4½ -105 for Game
55.00 units
52.38 units

El Donk's Donkey Bet of the Week

Well folks, its time for the donkey bet of the week. If somehow my teaser gets shattered, at least I've got a chance to cash in on this upset special. KC is at home and the jury is still out on whether the Bengals are for real. Throw in ONC's Redskins and I'll risk losing the $1 to win $45.

Disclaimer: While this is the donkey bet of the week, I cannot promise this is the only donkey bet I will make.

-El Donk

3 Team Parlay #152156610

Football - NFL Lines (Game) Moneyline

NFL - Week 5

(404) Kansas City Chiefs +300 Sun@1:00p
Competitor:(403) Dallas Cowboys

Football - NFL Lines (Game) Moneyline

NFL - Week 5

(405) Washington Redskins +180 Sun@1:00p
Competitor:(406) Carolina Panthers

Football - NFL Lines (Game) Moneyline

NFL - Week 5

(413) Cincinnati Bengals +325 Sun@1:00p
Competitor:(414) Baltimore Ravens

Risk 1.00 units to win 46.60 units

Stick With Your Instincts

I've been waiting for this game for some time now. Two weeks ago I even expected the Angels to be home dogs. They aren't, but 70% of America is still on the Red Sox and that's the only reassurance I need. Make any excuse you want for Beckett, he hasn't been the same for the last two months. You can't just flip on a switch for the postseason. I love the Angels tonight as I have for a month now.

Oct 09 09:35 PM EST - Baseball MLB - 966 Los Angeles Angels -115 for Game - Pitcher Options: Action
115.00 units
100.00 units
1 Straight(s)


- Captain Donk

Dallas Stars/Calgary Flames o/u 5.5

Tonight's tilt between Calgary and Dallas is turning into a battle of the backups and with the o/u set at 5.5 fans are jumping ALL OVER the over on this one. The conventional wisdom is that 2 red hot offenses with struggling defenses should shatter this especially against backup goalies. Which is when you just have to remember that Vegas knows something you don't, so I'm take the under.

Alex Auld is a competent back-up, these 2 teams play historically low scoring games, plus, there's something to be said about 2 teams struggling on defense who will in all likelihood try to rally around their #2 net minders.

ingle #151899779

Hockey - NHL (Game) Total

(53) Dallas Stars vs. (54) Calgary Flames Under 5½ (EVEN) Fri@9:05p

Risk 25.00 to win 25.00

NCAAF Betting Strategies

Ohhh, how we love Autumn Saturdays. The leaves changing, a little cold beer, maybe a lot of cold beer, and college football. There is some great value out there tomorrow. Whenever a game can hit 2 of the following 4 criteria in college football, you usually go with that team. When a team can hit all 4 you should immediately take a step back, ask for a fresh set of eyes, and then load up. These are the basic 4 criteria that I like to follow for college football:

1.) Bet on the home team: This isn't the NFL. Home field advantage can easily move a line 6 points. I've been in crowds of 70,000+ screaming fans when the road team has 3rd and 6 and haven't been able to hear myself think. You think any QB is going on 2 in that situation? I played at Navy on September 11th a few years back. There were maybe 30,000 people and we just about abandoned audibles. I know the midshipmen aren't crazy about football. I've seen their fans cheer just as hard at the Head of the Charles pulling for the crew team, but it was loud. From the sideline, where I spent the majority of my collegiate career, you couldn't hear anything. Now I can't relate that to say, when Florida goes to LSU, but I'm guessing it's about 4 times as loud (I was a finance major).

2.) Night game? Home team or nothing: Crazy drunk college kids. I shouldn't have to explain myself further. Go ask Pete Carroll why USC always loses to an inferior Pac-10 team on the road every year. Home field advantage is multiplied in games that start after 8pm.

3.) Take the Home Dog: "We must protect this house" has certainly stayed with us a lot longer than this horrible catch phrase. If you think that Washington State doesn't know that they are 21 point underdogs at home this week, you're dead wrong. By the way, don't take WSU this week. I'm just saying.

4.) Of course, bet against America: Me and El Donk always try to abide by this strategy. Over the years, it seems to hold true in college football more so than any other sport. Vegas is older than all of us. Something like 104 years. I don't have the exact numbers in front of me, but I'm pretty confident that Vegas has made money in the sports gambling business for, let's say 104 years. There's a reason they keep doing it. It's profitable. Throw in the 10% vig, and you need to win 54% of all your bets to break even. That's if you bet the same amount of money for every game. Underdogs have covered 52% of games this year, and guess who loves to play the favorites. That's right, the general public. I know, it's tough to take the underdog. They aren't a better team, but with 13 points they just might be.

So without further ado, here are my top 4 college picks in no particular order for tomorrow:

Michigan @ IOWA (-8) - Tricky game. I don't think Iowa is that good and I KNOW Michigan isn't that good. This game hits 3 out of 4 betting criteria. Michigan is also starting a 19 year old at QB. Very touching how Forcier took the blame for last weeks loss. I'm thinking he should've saved that speech for after he goes into Kinnick Stadium in front of 70,000 fans that aren't wearing mason blue. I'll lay the points.

Oct 10 08:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 386 Iowa Hawkeyes -8 -110 for Game
55.00 units 50.00 units

Wisconsin (+16) @ Ohio State - Too many points. Wisconsin is definitely bringing their A-game as they play for first place in the big ten. I've been crushing Ohio State all year, but this is finally the game where I have to go against them. Ohio State wins 31-24.

Oct 10 03:30 PM EST - Football NCAA - 355 Wisconsin Badgers +16 -110 for Game
55.00 units 50.00 units

New Mexico @ WYOMING (-10) - I lived in Colorado this past winter doing the whole ski bum thing. Whenever I went down to Boulder/Denver and went for a run after a solid night, I could always feel my body not respond the way it normally does. When I tried to run up at the base of Vail at 8,000 feet, my lungs were on fire and it took me weeks to be able to do a three mile loop. I'm in pretty decent shape. Wyoming's stadium is at 7,000 feet and New Mexico hasn't won a game this year. I've gotta lay the points.

Oct 10 02:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 336 Wyoming Cowboys -10 -110 for Game
55.00 units 50.00 units

William and Mary (-25 1/2) @ Northeastern - I don't know where they get the 25 1/2 from. I guess you can see it being 35-10. WandM is the real deal. Last weeks game at Villanova was the first FCS (1-AA) regular season game ever broadcasted on network television. Shout out to Versus! We don't have the time to go through every team, but we are pretty sure NU is the only team in the country that is 0-5 ATS and also winless. You have to ride that streak out until it ends. Most books only let you win $100 on FCS games, but you know what I have to say to that? You should have more than one account.

Football College 1AA - 1469 William & Mary Tribe -25½ -120 for
120.00 units To Win Amount: 100.00 units

A side shout out to everyone going to UNH this weekend for homecoming. Villanova @UNH is definitely the best off the board game this weekend and the only reason I can't take 'Nova because of the homecoming crowd and both teams are undefeated. I saw the Wildcats play 2 weeks ago and for my money, they are the best team in FCS. I'm just going to let that game slide this week.

Speaking of college life and frat parties, it's time for our weekly Kappa Kappa Gamma Tease of the week!

If you got LSU when the line opened at 11 1/2, I would say you are pretty golden. Tebow or not, for Florida to come into Death Valley for a night game and come out of there with a 3 score win is pretty far fetched. It's already down to 7 1/2 and still no definitive word whether or not Tebow plays. More than 65% of America is on LSU too. The Donks are going to stand back from this one even though it covers 3 of the 4 betting criteria, just not the most important one.

Here are your two teams. Take the Midshipmen down to -5 playing at Rice this week as well as laying -6 1/2 for Wake to beat Maryland by a touchdown at home. You're welcome.

Oct 10 06:30 PM EST - Football NCAA - 318 Wake Forest Demon Deacons -6½ for Game Oct 10 03:30 PM EST - Football NCAA - 377 Navy Midshipmen -5 for Game Football 6 pt Teaser 110.00 100.00


- Captain Donk

Miley Cyrus' Tease of the Week

Tease of the Week

Each week we will bring to you our tease of the week... im gambling and in women, the tease can be one of the most frustrating and satisfying things in a young man's life. There's always that girl at the party wearing the low-cut blouse doing the kegstand and caressing your leg, while telling you how cute you are, only you find out later that her boyfriend is a 6'4 linebacker on the football team, and there's no chance she's going for a gangly accounting major, no matter how many kegstands. Taking a nice spread and making it even bigger... well let's just say there's a reason it's called a teaser.

But, also like women, nothing is unattainable. Sure there are long shots such as teasing every game on the docket, or going after Jessica Biel. And then there are lay-ups, like a Giants v. Raiders money line, or Captain Donk’s little sister. What’s important is finding that tease that is attainable, realistic, and when it hits, still fulfilling.

Generally speaking, I like to find that cross 3,4,6, and 7 point lines, since these happen the most often in football. For instance, taking a 8.5pt favorite and teasing them down to 2.5 is an ideal scenario. Or teasing a 2.5 dog up to 8.5. I could get into expectancy theory, but I won’t bore you.

This week’s tease of the week is brought to you by Miley Cyrcus! Whether she’s running around in a sports bra, singing and dancing provocatively, snapping naughty cell phone pics, or posing for Vanity Fair, this 17-year old pop star is the perfect person to introduce our tease of the week. Anyways, without further ado, the week 5 Tease of the Week brought to you by Miley Cyrus, thanks Miley!
.

Any Combo, or if you're feeling bold roll with all 3:

Dallas Cowboys -2.5 – It’s not that I think the Cowboys are that good, it’s just that KC is that bad. This team is so bad that they lost to the RAIDERS by 3.

Baltimore Ravens -2.5 – Ravens looking to get back on track after a loss to the Patriots. Look for Harbough’s squad to play with more discipline and focus in this divisional battle. Love the Ravens at home laying 2.5.

Atlana Falcons +8.5 – This one was a bit tougher cause I actually like the 49ers. Top notch defense with an average offense takes on a top notch offense with an average defense. Let’s be honest, Atlanta is a live dog. I’ll take the team coming off the bye-week and refocused after a loss to the Patriots.

- El Donk

Too many people

I wanted to really pull the trigger on the Dodgers this afternoon because something was fishy about a Wainwright start being at -110. Oh well, great game to watch. I would not want to be sitting next to Matt Holliday on the flight to STL tonight. I thought I would always remember him as the guy that never touched home plate against the Padres. I always love being proven wrong.

Too many people are on the San Jose-Columbus UNDER tonight. It's 5 1/2 and Nabber seems like he's playing without a blocker so far in net this season. I'll jump on the OVER with 25% of America.

Oct 08 10:35 PM EST - Ice Hockey NHL - 23 Columbus Blue Jackets / San Jose Sharks Over 5½ Ev for Game
25.00 units 25.00 units
1 Straight(s) 25.00 units 25.00 units

- Captain Donk

SOX

Look, I don't know a lot about baseball, but I do know a lot about being clutch, a lot about america, and a lot about Boston. I know that all of the assholes in Boston are betting on the Red Sox... and somehow 58% of America is still betting on LAA. This means that once you factor out all the degenerate gamblers in Southie, something like 70% of America is betting on the angels. The same Angels that the sox own. The same Angels going against a cancer survivor who is historically clutch. Oh, and the Sox have a bullpen.

Again, disclaimer here, I shouldn't be touching a baseball line. But best case I pay for my bar tab, and worst case if the sox fall behind early I stop buying the fatty next to me round of Guinness.

- El Donk

(961) Boston Red Sox -106^* Thu@9:35p
Competitor:(962) Los Angeles Angels

*	Jon Lester (L) must throw first pitch for Boston Red Sox or this pick is NO ACTION.

Risk 79.50 units to win 75.00 ^units

Thursday Night Special?

Hardly. Nebraska and Mizzou are two of the collegiate programs that might as well consider their first 4 games "preseason" facing such formidable opponents as Furman, Bowling Green, Florida Atlantic, and LA-Lafayette. If this game is at Nebraska, it's a no brainer. I'm much higher on Virginia Tech than most. Anyone that can take Virginia Tech down to the last seconds, in Blackburg, has to be taken seriously. Pelini has the Huskers swarming on defense and they are currently ranked 15th in FBS on offense. Team Donk takes that ranking with a grain of salt since three of the Huskers games have been Florida Atlantic (49-3), Arkansas State (38-9), and LA-Lafayette (55-0). Throw in the revenge factor from the beatdown Mizzou gave Nebraska last year (17-54) with the Daniel-Maclin duo and you've got a team foaming at the mouth. -165 is a little high for our liking for the moneyline, so we'll lay 3.5 points. 75% of all ML bets are on the Tigers, which makes me very happy.


Oct 08 09:00 PM EST - Football NCAA - 303 Nebraska Cornhuskers -3½ -110 for Game
60.00 Units
54.54 Units


I'm also all over the Rocks this afternoon. Cole Hamels is 0-6 with an E.R.A. of 5.44 this year when starting during day games. He gave us his best spoiled kid impression yesterday complaining that the World Champion Phils aren't getting network respect with the day game starts. Sorry Cole, but Red Sox fans would watch a regular season game if it was on at 3am. Add to that they bring in the west coast audience for a 6:30pm (PST) game, and you get a nice little rating on a Thursday night. You're not one of 4% of MLB players with a college degree are you Cole? The icing on the cake for me you ask? Hamels' wife is 3 days late to give birth to their son. Can you imagine if Hamels has to leave after the 3rd inning because his wife went into labor? I'll take the Rocks, but will pussy out and play the run line.

Baseball - 957 Colorado Rockies +1½ -135 for Game Pitchers: Aaron Cook - R (must start), Cole Hamels - L (must start)
135.00 Units
100.00 Units

I'm hoping the Angels win tonight so that the odds are even better to bet against Beckett tomorrow night. I've been looking forward to the Beckett start in Anaheim for probably a month now. El Donk will testify to my giddiness.

- Captain Donk

Tale of the Tape

Name: Captain Donk
Height: 5'9" (maybe)
Weight: 170-180 lbs depending on alcohol intake
Job: Ski bum turned hedge fund analyst turned adventure coordinator turned unemployed
Relationship Status: Whipped
Betting Specialties: 1-AA Football, Champions League, WNBA
Motto: Some people don't have to change.
Reason you're reading: Because you hate him... and then when you realize he's right, you hate him even more


Name: El Donk
Height: 6'2"
Weight: A gangly 185
Job: Litigation Consultant
Relationship Status: Perpetually Single
Betting Specialties: NHL, NFL, and American Idol props
Motto: Every donk has his day
Reason you're reading: Witty insight, self deprecating humor


Let us be up front and honest with you. We are not professionals. We are not handicappers. We simply capitalize on others mistakes and outrageous spreads. All of our bets abide by certain strategies that have been proven successfull in the past which we will explain as we go along. So, get yo popcorn ready, get some money on a "legal" sportsbook, and let's make that money.

- Captain Donk

Blog Intro

At one time just a couple of guys, El Donk and Captain Donk have spent countless hours scouring the web, reading "expert opinions" on spreads, moneylines,teasers, the best beer, and how to find the g-spot, only to come to the same conclusion... these experts ain't got shit on us.

And then it struck -- there are a bunch of assholes pretending to be experts making a lot of money posting sub-500 records on sports betting websites-- there is no reason we can't be those assholes. Who wants to read some wisdom from a suit who doesn't put his money where his mouth is?

They say you should never get high on your own supply, but when it comes to sports betting we're not buying that shit. So let's ride together, die together, and damn right we'll beat those lines together.

Now excuse me while we introduce ourselves........

- El Donk